Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
