Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
