My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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