did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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