Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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