been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
