When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize