Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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