Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
