The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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