I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
