Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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