I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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