i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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