I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
