Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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