just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
how drunk are you?
Several
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
