he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
