Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
