I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
