Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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