mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
