found the other keg... it's in the tree
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
