i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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