you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
