seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
