im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
