I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Randomize