I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
