I accidentally had phone sex last night
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
