By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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