belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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