I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
