Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
