You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
