A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize