But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
