dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize