then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
