if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I currently don't understand fingers.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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