I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
