she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
