is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize