I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
