Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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