I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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