does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
