Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Four minutes until I can fart!
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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