How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
