I was born with a shot glass in my hand
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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