As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
