So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
