is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
