Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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