so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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