So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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