she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
