its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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