JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
