I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
