so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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